Tempests and teacups.

The human body is an amazing machine. It – or at least, mine – performs standard mobility functions despite having not slept more than 2 hours consecutively over the last 2 days, or eaten more than 4 bites of banana. It breathes, though I keep filling its lungs with toxic smoke. It talks, though the brain is silently screaming. It does the things I ask it to do – and I really have no concept of how.

It does things also that I don’t ask it to do. Like process emotional information in my gut, leading to any number of noises from that region that I swear I’ve never heard before. It craves things I don’t really want right now, like sex, and pain. (Though thankfully not together.) It wants to run as far and as fast from here as possible – which is nowhere. Nowhere is possible.

So here I am, a  mass of contradictions, stuck in one place yet churning and roiling as terrible as any hurricane. What do you imagine will give in first?

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One thought on “Tempests and teacups.

  1. I’ve been there. Words cannot adequately describe that feeling.
    For me, I drowned myself in work. It gave me something else to focus on & to get something positive back. It worked well as a great distraction.
    The good news is that , in time it will get better. You also have lots of people who love & support you. Make sure to tap into that.

    Like

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