Authorized steps to new, improved, over-40 life.
Step 1: get a full time career with benefits.
Step 2: use benefits to go to the doctor for first check up in 3 years.
Unauthorized steps to “new”, “improved”, over-40 life.
Step 3: let the nurse practitioner scare the bejeezus out of you with horror stories about your high risk factors for the number 1 health risk for women, heart attacks, and blood clots and stroke.
Dear Dairy, we have to break up. Yes, yes, I will probably still drunk dial you on occasion for what will undoubtedly be a totally regrettable booty call. But I don’t actually see Alcohol that often any more, so don’t count on it.
Meanwhile, me and a food/exercise journal are about to get to know each other really well.